Apologies for my apologies

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Separated out as if your dreams were just the limbsOf every tree you never plantedAll the dreams that you recanted…Until the sound of saying “this is what I always wanted” is a song that you replay before the static all begins Holding up your candle made of ashes in a trayFor all the wishes never grantedAnd the love that they supplanted…Because they were a lullaby for when you couldn’t sleep and so you found a bit of peace in their eventual decay Questioning if anyone has ever said a wordThat wasn’t salivating fictionOr engulfed in predeliction…So all the little syllables … Continue reading Carefully


Perhaps it’s not the same when I’m the one who doesn’t speakWhen you decide it’s time to hide and I don’t care to try to seekI think there’s a relianceOn my effort and complianceThat would seem to guarantee that we remain forever weak Perhaps I volunteered to be the ink and not the quillAnd be the one behind the boulder on this neverending hillWhere forward is a theoryAnd if I say that I’m wearyFrom your place of lesser effort you can say I lack the will Perhaps it doesn’t warrant any notice till the endAnd I don’t know what I … Continue reading Perhaps


I’ve chosen to acceptOr maybe chosen not to weepFor all the misbegotten lullabies and dreams forever sweptBeyond the momentary purchase that my hands could never keep I’m letting go of thingsOr just the ones that let me goBecause I move so imprecisely when they tighten up the stringsAround the hinges of my happiness which always seem to slow I’ve chosen to ignoreOr maybe chosen not to careAbout the promises forgotten because “those were all before”It was decided there were reasons they were chosen not to share I’m tearing out the veinsAnd all the ruptured arteriesBecause a heart is just a … Continue reading Appease


Measure out the isolationFilter out the concentrationOrganize the injuries and wishes into sizesInto shapes and into values, into costs and compromisesIf the blocks are all adjusted adequately, it’s a cube where all the colors are aligned, and people say that makes it whole Factor in the complicationMute the pain of computationAllocate a meaning to the days evaporatedAll the ones I can’t recall and all the ones I fabricatedIf they’re all assigned a number I can weigh them on a scale and if it balances correctly then it means I have a soul Calculate the admirationQuantify the destinationDesignate a number to … Continue reading Control

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