Proceed

Would petulance remove you if I speak
The words as if they were as strong as I am weak?
And set upon my heart, as if a laminate,
An armor that would minimize the burden of critique?

By statement like a hammer yet to strike
Do I concede that we are nothing but alike?
Or bind, to the contrary, all the evidence
Delivered by an arbitrary pulse that chose to spike?

Would sentiment deliver me a path
Devoid of error just to circumvent the wrath?
When looking at the pictures made of circumstance,
Was I a fool to turn the worst emotions into math?

By rigid arbitration and a need
To see a meaning, did I merely never lead?
Or here, in hesitation, did I choose to hate
How much I had to hold on to the past, and on to you, so I could learn how to proceed?

12 thoughts on “Proceed

  1. Or bind, to the contrary, all the evidence
    – Loved this line because you’ve deviated from iambs and used anapaests.
    I’m only commenting on the technical aspects;
    content wise, the poem is perfect

    Liked by 1 person

      • It’s the word contrary methinks. You wrote it emphasising the stress on the second syllable (which is fine). I read it with the stress being on the first (which is also strangely fine!) When you do what I did you read ‘to the’ and ‘all the’ as two unstressed syllables. Correct me if I’m wrong. Having said this, I don’t know if it’s good to get into too much technicality. It’s better to simply love the cadence of the poem and the idea it revolves around, which are both beautiful here.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Yeah, I actually don’t think about what poetic devices I’m using when I write… I generally only think about it after the fact, and even then I usually have to look the terms back up like, “wait…which pattern is that?”
        For me it ends up just being a numbers game…like I have a metronome clicking and I’m inserting words like a drum beat…

        Liked by 2 people

      • That sounds really cool. I wish I could compose like that. I usually write a line and then mull over the stress. Free verse on the other hand comes spontaneously. You could try experimenting with forms though. It’s pretty much the same thing with a little line repetition. A rondeau or a triolet or even a sonnet (which you’ve probably already tried) are fun and give one a lot of satisfaction when done correctly.

        Liked by 2 people

      • I feel like when I explain my process for writing poetry a lot of people are just like, “wait…what?”
        And I do enjoy sonnets, for sure. Not familiar with rondeaus or triolets…a lot of the time I like to mess with weird rhyme patterns, especially inner-line rhyming which can, at times, get really difficult due to how quickly it diminishes the allowable vocabulary…

        Liked by 2 people

      • Yeah it’s natural skill. I, being more of a prose writer to begin with found it really hard at first to write poetry in meter. I took a lot of reading and experimenting to improve. Google the Sestina. It might take several hours to write one, and I don’t know if all the effort is worth it in the end! But instead of rhymes it uses word repetition. The same word meaning something else when used later. For example, the word ‘gray’ denoting a colour and connoting a mood. I don’t think I’ll give the form justice if I tried! Some writers have satirised it! You’re right, Internal rhymes are very difficult to deploy in lines of verse. But I think some rap musicians are pretty good at it. They are pretty good at near rhyming and slant rhyming too, which is why, a few are geniuses.

        Liked by 2 people

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